Music Video Monday: Shia Labeouf (Rob Cantor)

Rob Cantor has done a lot of awesome songs, several of which have gone viral.  He seems to be a very smart guy, and the best thing he has ever produced is this live version of his Shia Labeouf song:

I love the story that he builds in this song and have actually used elements of it (read: shameless ripped it off) in a one-shot RPG.  It’s smart, funny and beautifully put together.  Fantastic!

I do not normally include the lyrics to a song in my posts, but I just have to add them in for this one.  These are taken from LyricWikia.  Behold:

You’re walking in the woods.
There’s no one around,
And your phone is dead.
Out of the corner of your eye you spot him,
Shia LaBeouf.

He’s following you
About 30 feet back.
He gets down on all fours and breaks into a sprint.
He’s gaining on you.
Shia LaBeouf.

You’re looking for your car,
But you’re all turned around.
He’s almost upon you now
And you can see there’s blood on his face!
My god, there’s blood everywhere!

Running for your life
(From Shia LaBeouf.)
He’s brandishing a knife.
(It’s Shia LaBeouf.)
Lurking in the shadows
Hollywood superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Living in the woods,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Killing for sport,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
Eating all the bodies
Actual, cannibal Shia LaBeouf.

Now it’s dark and you seem to have lost him,
But you’re hopelessly lost yourself.
Stranded with a murderer,
You creep silently through the underbrush.
A-ha! In the distance,
A small cottage with a light on.
Hope!
You move stealthily toward it,
But your leg! Ah! It’s caught in a bear trap!

Gnawing off your leg,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Limping toward the cottage,
(Quiet, quiet.)
Now you’re on the doorstep,
Sitting inside, Shia LaBeouf.
Sharpening an ax,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
But he doesn’t hear you enter,
(Shia LaBeouf.)
You’re sneaking up behind him.
Strangling superstar Shia LaBeouf.
Fighting for your life with Shia LaBeouf,
Wrestling a knife from Shia LaBeouf,
Stab it in his kidney.
Safe at last from Shia LaBeouf.

You limp into the dark woods,
Blood oozing from your stump leg.
But you have won.
You have beaten Shia LaBeouf

Lyrics in live version only:
Wait! He isn’t dead! Shia Surprise!
There’s a gun to your head, and death in his eyes.
But you can do Jiu Jitsu
Body Slam superstar Shia LaBeouf
Legendary fight with Shia LaBeouf
Normal Tuesday night for Shia LaBeouf
You try to swing an axe at Shia LaBeouf
But blood is draining fast from your stump leg

He’s dodging every swipe, he parries to the left
You counter to the right, you catch him in the neck
You’re chopping off his head now
You have just decapitated Shia LaBeouf

His head topples to the floor, expressionless
You fall to your knees and catch your breath
You’re finally safe from Shia LaBeouf

Magnificent!

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